Her lassitude, discomfort, grogginess, etc, might have been caused by...
...wait for it...
WITHDRAWAL...
My good gal, when her neck stopped hurting, last week, mainly after the last course of radiation's effects had diminished, and when she learned how not to cause herself pain in her movements, had stopped taking the really strong opiates which had been prescribed for her for the really severe pain she'd been having. She had been taking Oxy and more, twice a day for a couple of weeks. The plethora of complaints which had so limited her, and depressed her so, and had kept her inert if not asleep for most of those recent days --including a sort of low-level, near-nausea--began when she had quit the opiates and (suuuu-prise) were relieved to a significant extent when last night, she took one, just to see what would happen. Her mood, she said, elevated immediately. This might be a significant issue, but with S-4, mebbe not so much. I desperately hope she stays with us long enough that we gotta worry about detox...
Yes, she called me this morning, just before she and her second son (SG, the guitar player) left to spend some time at the family cottage near the coast. We'll stay in-touch. She'll have her cell-fone, we have a calling card, and she says she'll take her skype head set, too. She said she'd call me when she got settled later today. It's abut 250 miles from where she lives, not all of it freeway. Five, mebbe six hours in he car could be hard for her.
She hadn't had the energy--prob'ly she hadn't really felt like it--to read the blog. So I asked her about the cell-fone, and whether she'd had any fall-out from my call on Sunday. Thankfully, no questions ensued. But it was too close a call. She couldn't refuse to cease contact with me if he insisted, and threatened to kick her out, if she refused. She's too vulnerable. That kind of forced, radical separation from her kids would kill her. So we're not gonna take any more silly chances: we're (i'm--she can call me at any hour of the day or night without potential embarrassment to anyone) gonna suspend the late-night love-shots, at least after she gets back from the cottage, which won't be til next Friday, or so, ceteris paribus. She said she finds 'em good for her morale. Mebbe i can figger out how to send voice IMs...
I also broached the other issue, the Sunday Silence. I assured her I didn't need a full-fledged conversation, just a word, a sign, anything, that she was doing okay. Lila, I believe, saw the justice of my complaint, and agreed to try. That's all I can ask. I do NOT want her to regard me as part of her burden (although she well could not be blamed for doing so to some extent, I guess). I reckon in her position, I might...
I really, really hope her rest & recuperation near the sea-coast does her good. (I know it would me.) When she's down there, and has time and some privacy, I'm gonna get her to talk me through sending her audio files via IM, or some other medium. i just got a 10-cd box set (60 recordings) of early Miles i KNOW she'll love...
Addendum: Lila said she'd call me when she got to the cottage, and she just did. About 6 hours. She sounded pretty good. She said: "Before SG pops up, I want to tell you how much I love you." All's I can say is "Thank you, baby." God, I love that woman so...
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